Non-sens | Grammaticaster

I Love The Nightlife, Baby

by doug | December 17th, 2008 @ 12:18 am

How about a glimpse into my world: a night in the life of the grammaticaster.

4:40 PM — Arrive home from work, let scrawny dog out of crate, turn off dog meditation music, pat cat on head, eat piece of chocolate (if available), strip off work clothes, don lay-about clothes.

5:00 PM — Iron shirt for next day, wash dishes, eat piece of chocolate (optional).

5:30 PM — Pretty much sit around, delete misguided TiVo suggestions, read email.

6:15 PM – Cook dinner, wait for the wife.

7:15 PM – Wife arrives. Chat about day. Chat about dinner.

7:45 PM — Eat dinner. Watch whatever Discovery Channel / Travel Channel / Food Network show TiVo has recorded for us.

8:45 PM – Dessert: chocolate or key lime pie (or both)

9:00 PM — Wife naps. I have a glass of wine and blog (or play around on the internet, as was the case tonight).

11:00 PM — Contemplate another glass of wine. Feel bad for wasting time instead of writing or reading or doing something useful.

12:15 AM — It’s bed time. Shake blanket to wake up the dog. Take dog outside. Prepare for bed.

12:30 AM – Awaken the wife. Tell her it’s time for bed.

12:40 AM – Awaken the wife. Tell her it’s time for bed.

12:45 AM – Awaken the wife. Tell her it’s time for bed. Get into bed. Read book until eyes grow heavy.

1:30 AM – Turn out the light. Sleep.

Fascinating, isn’t it? I wish this was more embellished than it is. And now, if the clock is to be believed, I’m running a little behind schedule. Excuse me.

All Hail

by doug | December 4th, 2008 @ 5:08 pm

I am the Procrastination King. How bad has it gotten? Well, my car tag expired in September, if that answers your question. My “routine maintenance” light has been on for at least a month. I haven’t balanced my checkbook since I started this blog. The last time I went to the gym was the week before the Alabama/Georgia game. I have yet to buy a Christmas present for anyone. My front and back yards are more leaves than grass. The kitchen light hasn’t worked in over a year, which makes the back floodlight outage two weeks ago seem really insignificant. We’re planning a New Year’s party which I am very excited about, yet I cannot make myself sit down and send out an invitation – despite my constant harping on how I do not want to wait until the last minute this year. Hell, I even found myself procrastinating about writing this blog post – about procrastinating! !!!

Thought Dump: Dumpless edition

by doug | November 14th, 2008 @ 11:19 pm

As it turns out, there are not that many thoughts to dump today – which I consider a good thing. The purpose of penning a weekly smattering of half-formed ideas was to give a forum to those subjects I had not had time to flesh out as stand-alone blog posts. So not feeling like I have unfleshed topics rolling around in my head must mean I have successfully purged via my daily postings. Works for me. But, since I did promise a dump, here are my random thoughts as of right now:

The reward for having to get up at the crack of dawn for the past two days to drive out to an audit in St. Clair County was that, after finishing up at the high school around 12:30 today, we got to go home. I spent the afternoon raking leaves into gigantic piles in the front and back yards. Tomorrow – the bagging begins.

And now I sit, relaxed, washed, rested, waiting for the wife to come home so we can go out to my favorite casual restaurant in Birmingham – Taj India. I think I could eat Indian cuisine every night of the week and never get tired of it. Tonight I want the curry to burn the eyes out of my skull.

There are what I hope are interesting blog posts to come – a new dream journal from this morning’s episode involving tea bags and old houses, a new recipe (with pictures) of a fish dish I am very excited about, a daily diary of what I will be doing with myself when my wife is in Phoenix all next week, more death, more religion, more poetry, more photography, and more politics.

Tomorrow is football day. Roll Tide!

…

UPDATE: Taj was frigging amazing, as usual. Alas, my eyes are unscorched. Maybe next time.

…

UPDATE: We just broke down and watched Little Miss Sunshine – the NetFlix movie we’ve had at our house for at least two months. I am happy to report that it was very funny. I feel bad that we waited so long to watch the damn thing. Now the fun part is seeing what the heck the next movie in our queue is.

I’m a consumer whore. Yay!

…

UPDATE: I took the dog out a few minutes ago, and the wind and rain have combined to form some kind of unstoppable tree-de-leafing force. I am looking out the window. It is raining leaves. F#*k.

Cleanliness is next to… well, you know.

by doug | November 13th, 2008 @ 7:30 pm

In the absence of anything remarkable to say, here’s a random thought. I have come home every afternoon this week and washed dishes and tidied up the house. Today was a fantastic day at work – not because I got to do something exciting, but because I got to go out to a school and try to find bookkeepers’ intentional and unintentional mathematical mistakes. I can admit that over the course of the last 5 years or so I have become anal retentive on such a scale that I actually get pleasure out of it. This from the person who, in his Montgomery apartment, once drank a glass of iced tea with mold growing in it by mistake. What have I become?

That’s all I’ve got. For more randomness, be sure to tune in for tomorrow’s thought dump.

Vacating the Premises

by doug | November 7th, 2008 @ 6:23 pm

Readers,

The wife and I have decided to take a weekend jaunt down to Lake Martin. In my absence, I suggest you amuse yourselves by having sex with someone you think is foxy. I’ll hit you up on the other side of Sunday. Enjoy the weather, the football, and… well… all the sex. Ta-ta.

Halloween

by doug | October 31st, 2008 @ 10:57 am

The time is upon us. The election, you ask? Nah. The annual Memphis Halloween Party! For the first time in a couple of years, my costume is one that is guaranteed to offend people. There is a critical element to it that is only good for a couple of hours, after which my costume will transform from “clever” to “just plain wrong.” It’s going to be great!

I’ll post a full synopsis of all the drunkenness, nakedness and other debauchery on the other side of the weekend.

Grammaticaster

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