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by doug | December 13th, 2009 @ 10:17 pm
weight: 138.4
exercise: 0
blogs written: 0
photographs edited & posted: 0
books read: Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut (witty, graceful, sad… plot wasn’t what I expected)
my dad: awesome
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The NaNoWriMo’s effect on my creativity was completely opposite from what I had envisioned. It sucked me dry (not in that good way). It is as if I got so bored with writing during the month of November that now I am finding it difficult to jump start that creative engine again. I am currently engaged in an extended, yet mild, brainstorming session to try to make these activities fun or exciting or fulfilling. Otherwise, what is the point? I think I need some additional constraints: a project or series of projects that would incorporate or at least intentionally stimulate both the literary and visual aspects of my artistic self. I’ll keep you posted on what I come up with.
by doug | November 22nd, 2009 @ 9:32 pm
weight: 138.8
exercise:
300 pushups
30 sit-ups
140 side bends
2 ‘other’ cardio activities
books read: 2666 by Roberto Bolaño (page 591; continuing)
blogs written: 0
photographs edited & posted: 1
cups of coffee: gave up counting when I started having lattes for lunch
christmas trees erected: 1
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The theme of this week’s report card is: admitting defeat.
I have hit the NaNoWriMo wall and cannot bust through. Yes, I know I am supposed to just rattle off words and not edit myself or worry about how good it is and so forth… but there is just no solving the problems I am having. I have no story. There really is no way to get my protagonist, Benny the Troll, from point A (a medieval setting where Benny makes his living as a traveling musician) to point B (Benny gets gunned down in a back alley of a modern city by a jive-talkin’ pimp named Cinnamon Brown). The plot is really just a running joke that got started between my wife and I — when I threw together two characters from altogether different story ideas. It works as a joke. Not so much as a novel. I cannot sustain the humor for that long. In fact, I cannot sustain the narrative for that long. And what is worse: it’s not that I’m blocked (even though I am), it’s that I am bored. Bored to death with the whole story. It is simply not interesting to me anymore. At the same time I am reading a truly fascinating piece of literature that, while time-consuming, is by far the most intellectually stimulating book I have read this year. So when faced with committing what little time I have in the evenings to either writing a gibberish ‘novel’ that will never see the light of day or reading a newly-discovered modern literary masterpiece, my heart longs to read the masterpiece while my mind urges me not to give up on the writing contest. This week, a friend finally gave me permission to stop worrying about Benny. Life’s too short, he said (I’m paraphrasing), to spend it doing things you don’t enjoy… especially if you’re doing it just to say you’ve done it. So, unless I hit some tremendous second wind during the coming week, I think I may be done with NaNo until next year.
by doug | October 26th, 2009 @ 5:47 pm
 I have been bogged down in an epic writer’s block for going on what must be two or three years now. Sure, I’ve had tantalizing little spurts of creativity – but all in all, it is approaching half a decade since I truly felt like I have crafted anything meaningful. I used to write furiously – almost orgasmically – every single day. I would find a quiet space and just let my pen rush across the paper. Most of it was shit, of course. But every now and then something amazing (i.e. something beautiful to me, at least) would burst through. Despite all my attempts to jolt the creative beast back to waking life (the blogging, twittering, new notebooks, new distraction-less writing software), I have only really managed to rattle the bars a bit.
Enter NaNoWriMo. Because what better way to jumpstart the writer’s mind than to commit to penning the first draft of a novel within the space of a single month? As soon as I heard rumblings of this little movement (that has grown into quite the phenomenally large movement), I loved the idea. I have never attempted to write a novel before. Hell… I’ve only written one or two short stories in my entire quasi-adult life! “I’ll leave the fiction to other writers.” “I can’t sustain a story for that long.” That’s the sort of thing I would tell myself whenever the ‘great american novel’ motif teasingly appeared in my struggling poet brain.
Well, too bad. I’m doing it anyway. The philosophy is: it doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be words. 50,000 words in one month. That month, by the way, is November. Yes, this November. The one that’s a mere six days away.
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Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I believe I have at least one friend (nudge, nudge) who may have participated in NaNo before. Share with me your insight. How did you do? Are you participating again? Care to make things interesting? Eh?
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Okay. My intention is to post a little sidebar widget of some sort whereby you may track my progress in this marathon… at least a word count or something. Anyway, it should be fun. Probably in the same way a marathon is fun – which I would assume would be brutal in the moment but exhilarating and gratifying afterwards. Stay tuned.
by doug | September 15th, 2009 @ 5:43 pm
 I hope everybody has been enjoying the increased photo frequency over the past couple of weeks. It is a trend I hope will both continue and also even out over the days to come. My intention is to give writing and photography as equal time as possible – where, in theory, when I find one well of creativity dry the other will take up the slack. Everything here will still conform to my six major philosophical focal points, but a larger emphasis will be placed on ‘expression.’ That is, after all, the whole point here. Hopefully, even in the photographs, statements are (as is intended) being made re: the state of society, relationships, the self and so on.
Anyhow, I just wanted to address that. If I am letting my lens speak more than my pen these days, I hope some message is still being transmitted. And if it is also received? All the better.
More to come, everyone.
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(and come out to Sidewalk on the 25th-27th)
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