weight: 138.8
exercise: bitch, please
books read: 2666 by Roberto Bolaño (page 245; continuing)
blogs written: 0
photographs edited & posted: 2
crimson tide win/loss record: 9-0
NaNo word count: woefully inadequate (see sidebar)
raw oysters consumed: 3 dozen and change
…
A note about simplicity:
I got pulled over by a Pike County, AL cop around 7:30 Saturday night. I was speeding – 62 in a 45. Guilty as charged, sir. That incident got me thinking, though, about my so-called commitment to simplicity. I had a long drive (2 remaining hours to and 4 hours back from Destin, FL this weekend – an impromptu beach getaway following an afternoon at the Auburn homecoming game) to ponder how unnecessarily complicated I make my life. Just going 5 miles-per-hour slower probably would have saved me the aggravation of being pulled over in the first place. Add to that the fact that I had recently renewed my car tag but had yet to actually attach it to the car and that my registration and insurance documents are crumpled in a couple of different car compartments, and you’ve got a whole slew of completely avoidable headaches.
And look – it isn’t that $155 or so is going to break the bank, or that the patrolman was rude to me or anything (he was actually quite pleasant) – it’s just an example of how so much of my anxiety is petty and self-inflicted. I have a lengthy mental list going right now of all the things that routinely or recently have been stressing me out, and the conclusion I must come to is that almost all of those items can be fixed by eliminating some object or activity or habit that is easily eliminable. And how dare I make my life or the lives of people I care about even slightly more complicated with personal decisions I take lightly or do not pause to think about at all?
The ‘simplify your life’ code cannot just be cleaning out your closets, keeping your desk organized and making daily to-do lists. It has to be about evaluating your behavior and its consequences – even those consequences that are, on the surface, inconsequential (i.e. a speeding ticket). Because oftentimes there isn’t some great big anxiety-producer that, once eradicated, empties your life of all stress. It’s the little stressors – a traffic fine here, a stopped-up toilet or a meaningless squabble there – that accumulate over time and weigh your mind down with worry, anger or shame.
Anyway. Just a peek inside my mind. I’ll be trying to slow it down, literally and metaphorically. I will also try to blog a little more this week. It’s hard when that NaNoWriMo goal is slipping further and further away. Goodnight, all.