Ode to the Swine Flu

Why do you have to kill so many people
who never did a single thing to you?
You were the little friend
who got me out of doing chores;
you kept me home from work
but not sprawled out on bathroom floors.
You made my wife cook soup for me
and sterilize my drawers,
so why do you have to kill people
who never did anything to you,
Mister Swine Flu?

You let me think you were so sweet and harmless –
a simple sickness I’d quickly subdue.
And, yes, I did outlast you –
that I cannot deny.
Perhaps I am just stronger than
your average college guy.
Still – I get a week’s vacation
while you make his family cry?
Why?  Oh, Why?  You lie, you lie!
You let me think you were so sweet and harmless,
but you’re a sick old bastard, it is true,
Mister Swine Flu.

Well, now that you are gone I’m back in business:
fluless, flawless, frail but fighting through –
chained to my desk and toiling.
Oh, I miss you – I confess.
I would select your ague
over one more .xls.
Sure, you kill and debilitate,
but I got lots of rest!
Goodbye, god speed, go gently then,
I hack my toodle-oo
to you
Mister Swine Flu.